Thursday, January 8, 2015

My Milestone Birthday

I’m having a milestone birthday this weekend. For my birthday weekend I’m getting a paid trip to Fort Jackson, SC to do Army reserve training. Hooray! I’m not going to say my age because it’s an obscene number and this is a family-friendly blog; but from reading this you’ll probably be able to take a guess.  To say that I’m not where I expected to be in life at this point would be an understatement.  On the other hand, I’ve seen and done a lot of things in life that I never expected to, many of them positive things.
The world has changed in a lot of ways since I was born. When I was in elementary school, they were still showing documentaries in class on reel-to-reel projectors.  I saw “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back” when it was in theaters for the first time.  I remember seeing “Raiders of the Lost Ark” at the movie theater, which got me really hooked on history. I saw it about fifty times. Growing up, we had a rotary phone in the kitchen and one in my parent’s bedroom.  If you wanted to take your call into another room, you had to stretch the cord. It didn’t matter much to me at that age because I almost never talked on the phone. When I was a teenager, I got to have the crappy old rotary phone in my bedroom, while the other phones in the house were high-tech push-button phones.  There was only one line in the apartment, so when one phone rang, they all rang.  If a friend called at midnight, the phone rang throughout the house and my mom or aunt would pick up to find out who the hell was calling at such a late hour.
I remember 8-track players. We had one but almost never used it. We did, however, use our record player throughout my childhood.  Back then they were called “records,” not “vinyl.” I don’t care how trendy “vinyl” has become, those things were ****y. One scratch could totally ruin a good record, and if you picked the record jacket up the wrong way, the record slipped out and shattered on the floor.  I know this because I shattered quite a few records accidentally as a little kid.  Ask my dad, he’ll tell you.  Cassettes were better, unless the tape got jammed in the machine or the motor on the tape-player was slow.  Then, all of your music sounded a little off.  There’s nothing like hearing your favorite song drag or sounding like something from beyond the grave.  Only people who lived through the 80’s truly know the aggravation of trying to carefully extract tape from a machine that decided to eat it.  You’d try not to rip the tape and then use a pencil to wind the tape after it was out.
However, even with all the drawbacks, I was still listening to cassette tapes as a teenager, mostly because they were in the discount bin, and were cheap as hell because of CDs.  My brother and I had a few CDs in high school, but they were expensive, like $15 apiece in the 90’s. I’m a creature of habit and still listen mostly to CDs, although I do occasionally listen to satellite radio and live streaming online.
Getting back to the early days, the first TV I used had a knob and antennas.  Whenever you got tired of watching a channel, you had to get up and turn the knob. You also had to play with the antennas if the picture was fuzzy or distorted. It was so annoying. I think we had about five channels. Eventually we caved and got this newfangled thing called “cable,” which included a couple of new channels like MTV and Nickelodeon.  It even came with a remote, so we could flip through all 30 channels without leaving the couch.
Whenever Dave (my brother) and I reminisce about the old days to my nine-year old niece, Summer, she looks at us like we’re talking about an alien planet. It’s kind of funny, because I remember being her age and listening to stories from my parents about their childhood and thinking how old they were and being amazed that human beings could even live for thirty or forty years. My aunts were about forty at the time. Forty was so old! To me, that was ancient.